Heartbroken

Hello,
Writing this because I need to vent my feelings to someone.

Last year my parents decided to become foster parents. For people who don't know what this is. Basically when the parents of the kids are unable to take good care of them they are taken away from their homes and placed on a temporary (foster home). So on April 13th we received our first kids.

me and "Jesse"

We received two boys. A five year old and a two year old. The two year old, "Jesse" (not his real name) came to us in terrible conditions. He was not properly feed, had scabies, and was so tiny. Jesse was nearly 3 and used clothes for a 18 month old baby.

"Jesse" and "Richard"

"Richard" (also not his real name) also had scabies, but he wasn't in such a bad condition as his brother. He had more behavioral problems than health problems. He still used diapers to sleep and despite wearing a diaper he wet the bed everyday.

Jesse turned 3 while living with us

I grew very fond of them, especially Jesse because he would always follow me around, and hang in my room. Every time I would go out to work our school he would receive me with a wide smile. he was so cute too, I love his puffy cheeks.

How can you resist a smile like this?

So the thing is that, as all foster kids, they will eventually go home. They told us two weeks ago that they will go home soon, and they went back home today. Since I'm on my week of vacation I spent it with the boys.

I have cried so much this week because I knew this day was coming, and I came to love them very much. What hurts the most is that Jesse is so young  he will forget about us. I will probably never see him again. It honestly feels like they died.

Richard was very happy when we told him that he was going back home. But started to cry when we told him that he might never see us again. He said that he loved us and that he didn't want to miss us.  He kept telling me how much he loved and and he was going to miss me :'(

I had been raining earlier that day so my hair is a mess, but Richard looks so happy

We came a long way with them. Jesse started to speak more Spanish, we potty trained him, we taught him the numbers in both english and spanish, and learned to control his anger. He grew up a lot. We measured him today and he 2 was 3'2 tall and weighted 30 pounds. He is a heavy boy!

Richard we still had a lot of behavior problems with him. But he no longer wets the bed! and doesn't use diapers anymore! He didn't grew up too much, but he is heavy 46 pounds.

I will miss them so much, our home feels so empty without them.

My last picture with them

I just hope they grow up to be honorable people.

I've been crying since we dropped them off this morning. Hope I can cheer up later. Tonight I will go to L.A. to see 2NE1. Hopefully that will take them off my mind for a little bit.